Thankful

It’s like two strings hold each end of my heart and they are gently placed on a scale

Every second of everyday the scale tips one way or the other.

I don’t change by seasons but I do by moments and recently they been happening more frequent than they use to

Which may explain why I feel like I’m going through so much development

Mentally physically even emotionally.

It’s interesting

don’t know if I enjoy it or not.

But I have found that everyday you get to decide if it’s sunny or cloudy.

You simply can make the day what you want it to be just by your approach

And the emotions you may choose on the day won’t necessarily be a bad one.

There isn’t a benefit for being sunny internally every day

There is something to be gain with sadness, regret, anxiety.

You can come to the realization of who you are If you change the weather enough

And with that I mean who you want to become.

Which is what we all are chasing.

We are going after the future version of ourselves

An image we have designed very carefully.

But we don’t want to go through all heartaches and disappointment it would take to be that person.

So then we change the vision of them more and more till you can only picture the future being where you are currently at.

That’s maddening

Looking in the future and seeing only the present

And what if that starting place is dark?

That’s depression

Then you’ll have to rescue yourself from that

Which could end being very taxing

Yet if done properly will eventually just be development

So things be good or bad won’t discourage me

Because I’m just thankful for the emotion.