🖤

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In another world I may feel differently.

It might not have bothered me as much.

It wouldn’t be something that I recalled.

And I wouldn’t feel the emptiness you have left from your departure.

If every relationship takes a piece out of you

You occupied the biggest.

Maybe that’s why it has been hard to accept

It would explain the memories.

Or at least why I can’t forget some.

It seems we did everything together

We must have

Because whatever is going on you seem to be relevant

If someone says something that reminds me of you.

I’ll just bite my tongue.

I no longer have a reason to bring it up.

Or really you for that matter I suppose

Which feels kinda awkward

To not talk about someone you are thinking about

Like I’m keeping a secret

But not by choice

But a feeling of obligation

Or I guess because that’s just what you’re suppose to do

But what I do miss

I write in this

Because my secrets are always the safest in here

They listen

And I’m able to just talk their ear off

Knowing they won’t interject

From the outside

It must seem unhealthy

To be constantly fidgeting with the same ideas

Relentlessly

If you were only able to come inside

And feel the weights falling off my shoulder

As if writing this makes the feelings less present

But it does

Because I know my thoughts are safe here

And I won’t be told I don’t have a right to feel this way

I don’t write to convey the truth

I write to convey how I’m feeling

Fair or unfair

No one will tell me I’m wrong

But I don’t even really want to be right

I want to be heard and understood

And the pages that my words rest on provide that.